A Mother’s Reckoning
Just ten short months ago my thirty five year old sister committed suicide, leaving behind a fourteen year old daughter. It has destroyed our family and has left a lot of pain, anger and confusion in its wake. I actually googled Suicide Prevention over the holidays because I too have been finding myself thinking thoughts I had not thought before. I feel as though I was led to Sue’s book by some unseen hand. Tonight I feel peace. I haven’t felt this much peace in over ten months. I hope that you will pass along to Sue my deep admiration for her. I feel a deep love and respect for her amazing ability to face what every mother fears- that of not feeling like you were good enough when your child makes a choice contrary to the way you raised them.
I work at an alternative high school and I will be buying a copy for each administrator in our building. This book is a gold mine of information. I’m sorry she had to endure this heartache in order to bless the lives of others- but tonight I am grateful for that knowledge.
Thank you Sue
I had a hard time putting this book down. As a parent, I feel that becoming aware and actively acknowledging the issues our children face in today’s society is terrifying but necessary. Reading Sue’s extremely vivid recollections of the Columbine tragedy were eye opening and my heart honestly broke for her in every chapter. This book was well written, educational, full of facts, studies and resources that are more important now than ever. I respect her for opening her life to a public that has judged her based on actions that were not her own. I would love to meet her and give her a hug. Thank you Sue for this beautifully heartbreaking, thought provoking read. You are so brave. Thank you for giving us an insight on Dylan that we have not gotten to see before.
Sue Klebold Narcissist
I was excited about reading this book. What waste of time & money. After reading this book, I felt duped and angry. Sue Klebold is not a mental health doctor or expert on mental illness and suicide. There are no doctors or experts who endorse or back her claims. This was a boom written by toxic narcissist Sue Klebold, about toxic narcissistic Sue Klebold ...under the guise of mental illness & suicide. Sue goes in to portray herself & her son as victims when they clearly weren’t. She is a perfect example of a toxic narcissistic mother who destroyed her son Dylan as well as her other son Byron. She is in complete denial and she lives in a constant fantasy world....typical of toxic narcissist who refuses to accept any responsibility. She blames everyone & everything but herself & contradicts herself many times. She knows nothing about mental illness or suicide. Kids don’t just wake up one day & decide to go kill a bunch of innocent people. Dylan hated everyone. Dylan carried around so much hatred in his heart since childhood. He even hated his own mother. I three the book in the garbage after I read it. Good riddance!
Keep an open mind
Susan's story made my heart ache. I am a citizen of Jefferson County, Colorado, was a high school student at the time, and had been at Columbine the previous week for a school related event. When I heard of this memoir, it gave me great anxiety. How could I read the testimony of the "negligent" mother of one of the two boys that stopped the world on April 20, 1999? I decided to keep an open heart and open mind and hear her story. I cried. I empathized. With her, and through her remembrance of him, with Dylan. My daughter has recently been bullied to the point of severe fear in her school (also Jefferson County), and it came to light and my attention as I was reading this book. She too had held this secret for over a year out of shame and embarrassment and fear. Because of Susan's courageous act of coming forward and sharing her story, I was better prepared to talk to my daughter about the bullying. Susan gave me the right words and wisdom to encourage and uplift my child but also the knowledge to challenge her school about procedures in place to handle the situation. The 15 lives lost that day at Columbine stopped my world, but Susan empowered me to be the difference - if only for my child and those around me who endlessly heard my accolades of her writing.
By Curious words
I enjoyed the book very much as if I was in her shoe living her life, you can feel all her emotions and pain.
Eye opening, informative and completely heartbreaking.
Such a wonderful mother whose life was turned upside down by the actions of the son she thought she knew very well. Well written though it took me several days to read it because the heart break of the entire tragedy was too much to take in large doses.
Highly recommend that you very one who has children or works with children read this book!
This book is written by Sue Klebold, the mother of one of the boys that was responsible for the Columbine school tragedy. I would advise people to refrain from judging Sue Klebold as they have not been through what she has been through and they do not know how Sue and Tom raised their son or what type of parents they were. It's easy to judge but there is always more than one side to a story. I think it took a lot of courage and strength for Sue Klebold to write this book and open herself up to even more ridicule and judgement after what she's already been though. I thank Sue for writing this book, it's very eye opening and educational. I applaud Sue Klebold for trying to do what she can after her families own personal tragedy to help others. I think that all parents, grandparents, educators and everyone who works with children should read this book. I think a lot can be learned from Sue's book and experience. As a parent who raised a difficult child I can relate to a lot of what Sue Klebold wrote in her book. I raised my son to the best of my abilities. I tried to teach him morals, values, kindness, respect, tolerance, work ethic and all of the things parents try to teach and instill in their children so that they grow up to be good, kind, caring, thoughtful, productive, hardworking adults. We love our children and they are our number one priority. My children our grown now but we were involved parents who did not let our children just run astray. Like Sue we knew our children's friends, the friend's parents, we checked up on our children, wanted to know where they were and what they were doing. My child chose to do many things we did not agree with, did not like and were not proud of and that were not learned or accepted at home. We tried talking to him to find out why many, many, many times. We set down consequences. There were rules in our home. Our children had chores and responsibilities that were to teach them. We sought outside assistance when we had exhausted all of our parenting tools and ideas and took him to many different places for help. We loved our children with every fiber we had in us and were willing to do anything and everything we could to try and help him and to learn more skills to parent him with. After many years of heartache we learned that inevitably we could only do so much, the rest was up to our son. We could take him to counsellors and doctors but we couldn't make him be honest and share with them what was going on with him and how he truly felt or why we was doing the things he was doing. We couldn't make him accept the help. We later found out that on many occasions he would hide things from us and make us believe things were fine or better because he knew that if we knew the truth we would keep fighting to help him and he didn't want the help or to change.
PLEASE DO NOT MISCONSTRUE WHAT I'M SAYING HERE. I FULLY RECOMMEND SEEKING HELP OR TREATMENT FOR YOUR CHILD AND FAMILY IF THERE IS AN ISSUE! IF THERE'S
SOMETHING GOING ON WITH YOUR CHILD GET HELP!! DON'T STOP TRYING TO REACH THEM OR TO GET THEM THE HELP THEY NEED!
I'm just saying that sometimes you can be the best parent you know how to be and do everything in your power and your child will still make bad choices and decisions. You can't always blame what a child does on the parents or how they were raised. I'm with Sue I can see a lot of things now that I would have done differently had I known what I know now. But I wasn't a bad or absent parent. And we were trying. I work in adult corrections and have spoke with many of the offenders. Some will tell you that they are incarcerated because they had bad, abusive or neglectful parents however some will tell you that they had wonderful, loving parents and were brought up in good religious households. After dealing with my own difficult child and working with the offenders that I have I also believe that what happened to Sue Klebold can happen to any of us. We
need more education out there about brain health and what to watch for as parents and educators. I think Sue Klebolds book is excellent and the message she is trying to get out there needs to be heard.
I'm sorry for all of the parents who had children who died or were hurt in the Columbine attack. I pray that all involved can find some sort of peace.
All parents should read
By An annoyed squid
Anyone that has children should read this. Has a lot of important information about brain illness.
Trouble young man
I'm married now, for 26 years and have two boys.
I have always had a lot of conflict with my oldest son. I always felt it was my fault that we didn't connect with each other. I gave birth to him on my birthday.
I thought it was because of our chemistry we didn't get a long. Which it is true. We are different in many aspects, but however, we are both the same in our emotions and have strong wills.He is also bipolar. Which, I don't think I have. I haven't been diagnosed with it.
Therefore, being a mother I know it's my fault looking back from the past. I gave this to him because of my gens. Which I still blame myself for not getting treated sooner. Which would not have made a difference for him. However, it would have made a difference for my husband. Life would have been easier on him.
My biological mother and my other two half sisters, on our mother side, we all have fought with depression.
I felt since my son was a teenager, looking back, I could have done better or done something different. I come to realize, sadly, I don't know what I could have done differently.
I have talked to him about this. My husband and I at different times, took him to doctors, took him to many psychiatrist appointments.
He still has not come to terms with it yet. He is still sees a psychiatrist right now.
Moreover, we all got to realize it won't go away on its own and it will always be a part of our lives, the depression and the bipolar. It can be monitored by a doctors help and with medications. It's not a death sentence.
However, you must deal with the issues and take the medications directed by the doctor. If they are not working, you must speak out. You can't be lazy in dealing with this on your own.
This is to all of us who is suffering from bipolar or depression, to seek Doctors help.
This really has to be up to my son. He needs to make the choice, he's 24 years old. He still lives with his dad and I. It has taken a troll on our family. Because he chooses to take out side drugs. He will say things that sound really good to the listener.
My younger son, however does not have depression or is bipolar either. He lives by the rules, he makes good decisions. He told me a lot of different times, how he wants to live totally different from his brothers choices. He doesn't like how his brother causes his dad and I so much stress and worry. The younger brother lives life, how it comes.
I always blame myself for my sons depression because I have been depressed since birth.
I'm forty seven. I had lost my birth mother on Christmas Day soon after I was born in October, 1967. She died from breast cancer. My dad had to put me up for adoption soon after her death. I was place in a new home, on New Years Day. I was officially adopted a year later.
I had severe learning disabilities growing up. I was made fun of in elementary school years.
In my teen years I would cry a lot. I remember one time, my Uncle came over to baby sit me, from my adopted fathers side of the family, I was six years old. He molested me on the couch. I never told my parents because I felt humiliated. He put me in my room and held the door shut. I had to go to the bathroom so bad. He would not let me out, so I peed on my bed. I, Didn't tell my mom until I was in my teens.
Once, I saw a leaf fall from a tree and started to cry, because, I didn't want that leaf to depart from the tree and to be a lone.
My adopted family, they took me to a psychologist. The psychologist, "she asked me if I was depressed?" Of course, I told her I wasn't, because I didn't want her to put the blame on my adopted parents, for my depression. Therefore, I didn't get the help, I needed. I was embarrassed. So it didn't go any further.
Thought I'm alright. I got married and had two boys.
Until, I lost my adopted mother to sickness. She died after six months after my first son was born. Then shortly afterwards I lost my older sister to cancer. I ended up having to go to U of M to have 95 percent of my colon removed. I was not alright physically or in my mind.
While I was in there, I called my best friend in the middle of the night, to tell her I was going to jump out of the window. It was about 8 floors up. Soon as I hang up, there was a psychiatrist in my room about 5 minutes later, no joke.
She said, "Melissa if you want to get your mind well and in balance, you must tell me the truth."
That is when I came to realization I can't hide my depression any longer. I'm going to hurt myself. That's when I realized I was out of control.
That day they started putting me on antidepressants. The first few months was a miss. Then there was a new medication that came out before I left the hospital that year.
I have been on it ever since then.
There has been two people in my life to tell me that there is no such thing as depression. There is to such a thing call depression because I know, I have it. I lost a friend over it, too. She also, told me , that I was a bad mom because I had a son on drugs and it was my fault.
I have come to knowledge that My own son makes his own decisions, even if it is destructive to himself. However, I don't agree with him at all how he deals with it. ( I finally came to terms and peace with myself this year 2016 there is no more I can do for him, it's up to him
Listen, please don't listen to anyone that would say differently then your DOCTOR advice. There are some weird concepts out there, on depression and bipolar disorders. Please, seek your DOCTORS professional help! Please don't go to the Internet for mental Heath solutions. Your and my mind must stay in check! So, we don't hurt ourselves or others. "We are all considered valuable to someone, even if, it's our pets." No one can take better care of you, then yourself. Again, please listen your doctor.
Thank you for your support.
Furthermore, I want to think God that he gave me my oldest son. God knew that no one would take care of him like his dad and I would and love him unconditionally
By Cajun Gin
I remember the Columbine shooting in 1999. As I watched the news reports that kept changing, I found myself thinking about the parents of Dylan and Eric. I cannot count how many times I have prayed for all of the victims of the shooting and their families. I had just become a new mom and I felt fragile. What can we do to identify kids before tragedy occurs? was all I could think about in the aftermath. I am grateful that you wrote this book. Thank you for shining a light into the darkness of brain illness and its effects. You are a courageous woman and I applaud your ability to share your life with the world to affect much needed change in health care. God bless you and all touched by the Columbine tragedy.